Advice that builds character
“What you see, is what is available.” My mom taught me that you don’t always need to have the same as others, to buy what you don’t have, or to have a lot of money to achieve your objectives. Most of the time, you are surrounded by what you need, you just have to be willing to be creative and devise how to use that for your specific purposes.“Do not quit school! Finish your degree and if you want to study something different later on, you can.” I’ve had an amazing journey in the tech industry because of her advice and I always thank her for that. She’s always encouraged me and my siblings to study and be the best person we can be, and we are, thanks to her.“You can achieve whatever you want!” My mom didn’t go to high school, she was born in a small town where only men get a higher education. She always told me I was smart enough and encouraged me to study. She never made a difference between men and women, she raised her five children equally. Because of her, I never realized engineering was supposed to be for men; she told me I could study whatever I wanted and I believed her.
Stories from the heart
It is not advice per se, but the best thing that I heard from my mom and the one that started a humongous change in my mindset. During a tough and sad moment, when reality crushed the image I had of someone, my mom told me that she felt really sorry for the things that had hurt me in my life, not as a worried mom but as a woman. At that moment, I realized my mom was more than just a mom, she is a woman, she is a person, and there are more ways to connect with her than as a daughter. And from that point on, I always try to connect with other people as people who get hurt and suffer but who also love and are happy.
She helped me, since the moment that I found out I was pregnant and alone. I have a premature baby, he was born when I was six months pregnant. He was so little at only 30 cm and 1 kg. He stayed at the hospital for two and a half months. After that, we had to go to Teleton and we went through so many things. But she was always with me, at every doctor’s appointment and therapy. I cry a lot, but always in her arms. She is a person that does not talk much and does not express her feelings, but even without any words, if I turn around, I know that she will be by my side.
I owe all my confidence, conviction, and compassion to my mom. More importantly, she raised me with a strong sense of self and identity. As a Mexican-American, you can feel torn by two worlds, like you have to pick a side. Are you Mexican or are you American? She raised me with all the confidence of the American kids while instilling in me all the pride of my Mexican culture. Because of her, I live boldly in both worlds.
WizeMoms, what is your hope for your kids?
“My little one, I just want to see you happy! Don’t take life too seriously, and enjoy the journey. Be a good person and do good.”
“Try to do what you like and what you dream, always try to complete what you start, nothing is easy but in the end all that you wish will come true. Try to help others, you do not know when you will need a hand, smile, and respect all people. Do something for someone else. In the end, when you see that smile you will know that is the best way to talk with God.”
What advice do you have for working parents during these times?
“Every time I get frustrated, I try to remind myself how lucky I am to be safe at home and enjoying my little one that is growing super fast. I try to not be too harsh on myself, setting weekly goals to achieve has worked, so that I can focus on output rather than the amount of hours dedicated to work.”
“With kids, as you may know, you can plan for one thing, and then something completely different turns out. But here are a few tips that have helped my husband and me to work from home with young kids.
We created a schedule where we take turns to work, while the other takes care of the kids. That gives us at least a couple of hours of total focus time when they are awake. We are consistent with our children’s routines because, apart from giving them security, it enables us to predict at what times we can work. We exercise with our children so that they go to sleep at a decent time. We take advantage of early mornings and nights to work. We bought and found activities they can do on their own while we’re working next to them. Some ideas include building blocks, dancing Just Dance Kids, painting, and playing educational iPad games. We restrict screen time to when both my husband and I are working. It helps our kids focus on what they’re watching. We found educational TV content to feel less guilty about screen time. We love the Wild Kratts and Storybots cartoons.
Finally, we embrace the chaos.”